So I moved my desktop running Windows 7 to a part of the house where running cables would be just plain old ugly. To fix the situation I went out and bought a Wireless USB from Linksys. This was not an easy decision, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of Linksys, but there was an open box item for $60 a Wireless N USB adapter (WUSB600N ver 2.0). I figured the worst was I would return it as well.

Well, as it turned out I think I might have a couple ideas why someone returned it in the first place.

First, Windows 7: The drivers that ship with the adapter are for Vista and do not work with Windows 7. I tried everything from manually opening the device manager and trying to manually install the drivers, no dice. I tried using generic USB adapters, no luck. A pretty frustrating experience, especially when Cisco/Linksys haven’t posted any Windows 7 drivers as of this past weekend. Poor showing on their part I thought. Finally, exasperated and near to returning it I read somewhere to check Windows Update.

Now this is an interesting problem, it’s a chicken and egg situation. For Windows Update, you need a net connection, but the thing I’m trying to install is what gives me the net connection. Sigh. Luckily for me I can stretch a cord out to the computer and get the net, I wonder about those that can’t. Could this be the reason someone returned this? Regardless, if you are in this predicament, yes Windows Update has the latest drivers and the entire thing was up and running in seconds.

As for the device itself, I can only guess that another reason someone might have returned it is the poor reception quality if you use the included USB extender cable. I can’t quite understand this, but the extender cable actually drops the reception quite dramatically even though I can then take the USB adapter closer to the wireless router. Very odd. Connecting it directly to the computer was fine (and I tried multiple USB slots).

So moral of the story (1) Windows 7, trust Windows Update first especially in these early days as manufacturers are probably releasing to Microsoft before the consumer on their websites and (2) I’m still not convinced on the quality of Linksys products and reviewers around the web seem to agree…

This morning while walking up Duluth past Coloniale in Montreal I witnessed the aftermath of an accident. An SUV had collided with a bicyclist in the intersection (an all way stop). The bicyclist was on the ground bloody and waiting for the ambulance, the bike was mangled and under the automobile. Very unfortunate, very messy.

I do not know who was at fault. I did not witness the accident itself.

I am, however, about to make myself highly unpopular amongst Montrealers. This city has a traffic problem. I do not mean the messy and screwed up road system, I’m talking about people following the rules of the road. I do not just mean the automobiles, I mean everyone: bikers, pedestrians and the car drivers. In almost every case everyone seems to think they know better than the laws which are put into place to protect us and protect others.

There is a reason for a red light. It means stop. Running the light whether you are in a car, legs or on a bike puts you at risk of getting hit, or worse hitting someone else. This is a bad thing. This is why you get fines if you are in a car and run a red light. The same goes for a stop sign. The sign says “Stop” for a reason.

Now, do not assume I am perfect. I jaywalk, I am like everyone else in Montreal. It is easy to jaywalk, it’s part of the culture, it’s expected and there is no feedback mechanism to prevent people from jaywalking. Laws are not acted upon.

The same goes for biking in Montreal.

Again I do not know what happened at that intersection this morning. But just today here is what I witnessed bicyclists do at that or around that intersection within a 5 minute period:

1. Run the intersection without stopping, glancing or even checking (3 bicyclists)
2. Run the intersection without stopping, glancing or even checking while wearing headphones (2 bicyclists)
3. Switch lanes crazily on St. Laurent while talking on a cell phone and handling the bike with one hand (1 bicyclist).

I personally believe that if you are in any vehicle, and a bicycle is a vehicle, you should be subject to the same laws. Running a stop sign or a red light in a bicycle is extremely dangerous. If I am driving a car I assume you will stop at a stop sign or red light if coming from the opposite direction. We all agree running red lights for cars is one of the worst driving mistakes. Why can we not fine someone who does it on a bicycle?

What would happen to an individual who is driving a car and wearing in-ear headphones? Answering a cellphone and driving with your knees while switching lanes of traffic?

I call on Montreal to actually set an example. Ticket bicyclists, jaywalkers and drivers alike, especially when it comes to running stop signs and red lights. I do not ever want to hit a bicyclist in a car driven by me, even if it is not my fault at the end of the day. A car does way more damage than a bicycle. It is to protect bicyclists that I even write this.

I challenge the police to go to that intersection and give out tickets to bicyclists.

I suspect I’m about to be labeled for my idiosyncratic ideas. But hear me out. If you are in the northern hemisphere you might have noticed that the weather has definitely cooled off just a tad. In Montreal we’re reaching the single digits for highs and I have even witnessed a flurry. Thankfully I was ensconced in a bar with a beer and crying into a beer is saved for other occasions of much more dire circumstances.

Now, I remember my high school models of the Earth. As the Earth rotates and wobbles on its axis we are treated to a change of seasons.

However, I would like to present an alternative view and a solution to this slow descent into the marauding madness of winter. Have you noticed that as the weather gets colder you tend to wear more clothes? You bundle up in parkas, toques (and for those non-Canadians who don’t know what toque is, you’re missing out), gloves, hats, sealskin and rabbit fur and more besides.

What if the reason for the general depression into Winter is due to us wearing more clothes? What if the mere need to wear more clothes accelerates the onset of winter?

I present to you exhibit “A”. When I was a child my eyesight started to deteriorate. To halt this sudden blindness (so acutely shown when a tennis ball hit me in the face when I was playing tennis at the age of seven), my parents hastily convened a meeting with the optometrist/ophthalmologist who nonchalantly insisted I correct my eyes with glasses. Wonderful.

The eyes of children are unfortunately quite unstable. My eyes decided to adjust to these new peripherals and then some. They adjusted to just below the threshold of perfect vision. Every six months thereafter, my favourite optometrist would continue to play a game of cat and mouse with my eyesight. He would exasperatedly correct my vision to near perfect and my eyes would drop in vision to non perfect, whereupon he would sigh and the process would start all over.

So taking this example, here’s what I propose happens: The weather drops in temperatures and we wear more clothes than necessary because we are unsure about our ability to handle this sudden coolness. To adjust, the temperature drops a bit more to prevent us from getting all sweaty underneath our jackets. We react badly. We swear at the sky, pull on an extra jacket and grumble our way out the door. And so the cycle begins again.

It is time to stop this insanity.

I demand all in the city of Montreal and beyond wear less clothes and warm the temperatures up.

Imagine a world where we all walk around in swimwear in the middle of December with balmy temperatures in the middle of the city of Montreal! I know we can make this dream come true without global warming. Wear less clothes and set yourself free from the tyranny of the temperatures!

It’s something that has mystified me for all the years I’ve lived here in Montreal. During the summer months or what is ostensibly called “Construction Season” in Quebec, mysterious pylons appear all over the city. Roads are blocked off, sidewalks closed, indecipherable detour signs (often leading in circles) appear and strange directions are hysterically broadcast to avoid unavoidable city sections.

However, this “Construction” part of the “Construction Season” goes incredibly slow. The pylons stick around for months and there are very few street construction crews to be seen. It’s almost as if the workers are invisible. The work somehow plods along haltingly. It’s like the thought that if you look at a watched kettle it never boils, the urgency of fixing any issue in the city crawls to a halt the more you look at it or want it done. Obviously Montreal street construction obey laws of relativity that I am unaware of and which would probably astound Einstein himself. But then again, as the nights get longer and the city inches towards our first snowfall, construction hits a pace of urgency that seems to be lacking throughout the rest of the year.

Montrealers, Tourists, wonder no more, as I have deduced what is happening.

You see, the Montreal Street Construction Crews are actually legions of the undead. Yes, you heard it right here. The Construction Crews are filled with daylight avoiding vampires, ghouls and other undead. It’s an ingenious attempt by our city council to tap a previously untapped potential.

Now granted, I don’t have definitive proof. I am slightly nervous at approaching a construction crew member lest they decide that I am actually good juicy food.

So here’s my reasoning:

1. Construction is slowest during the longest days of the year. Previously we all thought that it was because the nice hot weather was keeping construction crews from operating and enjoying vacation. Not at all. The undead cannot go out in the day, naturally the working hours for our frustrated dead brethren is rather short. No wonder the pylons pile up and no work gets done.

2. Pylons appear out of nowhere in the night time and there’s hardly anyone working during the day. Here I thought people were taking copious breaks or potentially the city could not get enough workers. No my friends, it’s actually that the undead crew must work during the night. It is why things go slow. But naturally they have to wait till after 1am to start work. Oh poor souls.

3. Again traffic jams on the streets at 2 or 3 in the morning, how else could it be explained.

4. The slow progress at getting anything done around the city! We all know that the undead are rather stupid and lusting after blood and live humans. Naturally this is why it takes forever. Have you ever tried to get a zombie to do anything useful other than eat your brains?

5. The crumbling nature of our concrete. Obviously the undead need to eat and occaisionally they kill humans and put them into the mix. I had thought this previously to do with the mafia and its penchant for dropping dead bodies into the concrete mixer, but really when you think about it. vampires must be to blame. Never trust a vampire.

I do have to hand it to our city council and mayor. I had no idea that you could keep something like this a secret, but then, what an amazingly brilliant idea. I applaud you. I applaud you.