In the last 24 hours I have been left speechless twice. Once was watching several scenes of Vertical Limit. One of the worst mountaineering movies ever made. Now, granted, I watched this before I really got into Mountaineering when it came out in 2000. I may have even paid good money to go see the movie when I was back home to St. John’s that Christmas. Well, that’s several dollars I will never get back I’m sure.

This weekend my friend Gen decided that she needed to subject all of us to frighteningly bad mountain movies in preparation for an upcoming mountain film festival in Montreal: Festival International de Film D’aventure de Montrea (FIFAM). Mike and I happened to be out trundling around Montreal when I discovered Vertical Limit in the $5 bin of a DVD store. Well needless to say, it had to be bought. Of course I forced Mike to proudly carry it to his house and house it in his video collection. Just remember kids, if someone gives you nitro and asks you to take it up a horribly large high altitude mountain, just say no. But if you must, remember that sunshine might make it go boom.

The second bit of speechlessness is due to the passing of Rudy Ray Moore. Now, I know many of you have no clue as to who I am talking about. There was a time in my life when my friends and I were very much enamoured by the Blaxploitation films of the 1970s. Heck, I even started up the Memorial University Shaft Society (still appears as a valid society on this page about MUN), tried to film a Shaft fan movie and we scoured St. John’s, Newfoundland for the very best Blaxploitation could offer. Rudy Ray Moore was at the top of the pile. Rudy Ray Moore inspired the rap genre and created such classics as, Dolomite, Dolomite: The Human Tornado and The Avenging Disco Godfather. The only movie that we searched high and low and never found was Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil’s Son in Law.

Well, today at the grand old age of 81 and due to complications of diabetes, Rudy Ray Moore has gone on to the grand disco in the sky. Thanks for the memories.

“I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motha fuckas is my game!”

Honestly, I have never complained about a stretch of road more often than the Turcot Interchange in Montreal. I’ve even posted several blog posts that have mentioned this (”The Montreal Groan” being the primary one). But seriously, the stretch as every Montrealer will tell you, is some of the worst road planning in the world. I don’t think I’m exaggerating. In Good Omens Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman write about the the Devil using one of the motorways around London to be a permanent prayer to him by forcing motorists into a perpetual traffic jam. Oftentimes, the Turcot makes me wonder what evil deity gloats upon our misery.

My friend Rebecca MacDonald has discovered the final plans for the Turcot interchange once they finish fixing messing with it. The document is in French but here are the key images…:

Before:

After:

The photos make me think of those before and after shots from diet commercials, where a frumpy/dumpy person is turned into a super model after eating a diet of carrots and celery for three months. Except of course, in those commercials they have those disclaimers which make you realize that eating carrots and celery for three months certainly didn’t have the desired affect instead reality is represented in the disclaimer:

“* participant combined diet with 20 hours of exercise per day to get the pictured results, your mileage may vary”

Note: if you read this and decide on a diet of carrots and celery, not only will you lose weight, but you will likely die. However you will also be a fashionable orange colour due to excess carotene.

Well, I wonder what the disclaimers for the Turcot photos would be…

“* development will last 20 years and may result in madness”

“* new turcot will only last 2 years looking pretty before the special ‘concrete’ mixture crumbles, use quickly, don’t look too hard”